My '95 Caprice Classic STW, "Sally"

[DerekTheGreat]

The front shocks are popo spec Gabriel Proguards, definitely not the cheap end of things. Hecho en Mexico (which I would put above china,taiwan etc.).

Cheapie coating then, although I'm not sure what the cost of running 866 is. It's better than straight Rustoleum, but not by much.

Sell customers "Service Intervals" and they'll be more likely to buy into "Planned Obsolescence."

[Arquemann]

It has taken over 6 hours over two days to get the borked control arm replaced, mostly due to a lack of fucks to give and because violence gets kinda tiresome.
The control arm might be original at 366k KM (though a bit doubtful), bushings were cracked and a bit collapsed, ball joint was alright (genuine GM), but the boot was more like a greasy, filthy, crumbling rubber donut. Control arm has two layers of undercoating on it, in the spring pocket there was a fair bit of rust flaking (and the ripped off shock mount ears, but otherwise the control arm was very solid metal.

Unbelievably, the control arm bolts loosened up with a swift kick and the bolt threads and shanks inside the bushing sleeves had ZERO rust on them.
And that was the only part of the job that was easy.


Also found that the bottom of the spring had about 2/3rds of the flat bottom coil broken off. By law, I should be replacing a broken spring, and springs should be replaced in pairs. And yet again, my fuck budget hath runneth dry, so I just clocked the spring so its hard to see the broken end of the spring.

New control arm, new end link, old shock, 2/3rds of a coil less and a pile of rust, dirt and undercoating making a considerable pile on the ground. Also tightened the bolts on the oil filter housing, as it leaks.
Car's still on the ramps after torquing the control arm bolts, tomorrow I'll change the other end link and change the oil (I might've dumped a small bottle of trans additive into the wrong dipstick).

[Arquemann]

Pass. side sway bar end link removal tool of (no) choice was a reciprocating saw. Fun.

The new ball joint was awfully stiff initially, first drive I had to really move the steering wheel back and forth with effort, wouldn't return to center at all. Now it's a bit better, but I think the new arm screwed the alignment and toe, the on-center steering is completely out the window now. Add an alignment onto the to-do list...

[sly]

Usually after adding grease to the ball joint, they loosen up nicely. If it's one of those sealed for life versions (no grease port), then Bah.

[Arquemann]

Why is it always me? Why do I almost always encounter stupid problems no matter how simple the task at hand? Wrong parts rarely fit and now neither do the right parts!
Started the front brake job, got the driver side new rotor on, parts greased up and I can't get the caliper to slide onto the rotor. Bottomed out the piston with a brake caliper tool and still no dice.
Some cleanup and cursing later, I come to the conclusion that the new brake pads are too thick.

Did some reading and apparently "heavy duty" brake calipers are slightly wider for use with thicker HD pads. My car has the RPO JM4 option for HD brakes, so naturally I had bought HD spec pads. Someone at some point in the car's life has replaced the front calipers and used the (wrong) standard calipers. And that's why my HD pads don't fit. For fucks sake!

[sly]

That's some of my luck right there. There's an ongoing theory in my family that we are cursed to grab the broken item off the shelf at the store. Very typical for me to get home, install something and the new part be bad or wrong. Worst part was on the 82 Mark VI, the parts listings show the fox body part instead of the panther part for wheel bearings. I had to take the whole hub assembly in to the store to get the jackass behind the counter to understand that it's a damn panther and not a fox body car and their parts listings are wrong and so are Ford's. So the next time I needed some suspension related parts for that Lincoln, I just asked for 88 model Grand Marquis parts. Fit right and worked.

[Arquemann]

New pads bought and installed, front brake job done. Alignment scheduled for the 11th. Needs a wash, a wax, a vacuum and a general refresh.
Then ol' Fat Sally is going up for sale, no way around it.

[Arquemann]

Alignment done, on center steering is back to how it was (less terrible) and the steering wheel is straight.
Kinda nice to have brake rotors that aren't warped, should've probably changed those a long time ago.

Tuesday I washed and waxed the car, snapped pics for the listing. Damn thing looks really good in the photos, almost inappropriately so. I feel like I'm cheating. Got the for sale listing up yesterday evening and today I got my first trade proposition. I wrote that I'll consider trades to an economical gasoline wagon. So the guy wants to trade to a Chevy Van granville camper with a 6.2 dursel, which checks exactly zero of the boxes.

Starting off strong

[sly]

Some serious Marketplace energy there. Good luck with the sale.

[gadget73]

That's some of my luck right there. There's an ongoing theory in my family that we are cursed to grab the broken item off the shelf at the store. Very typical for me to get home, install something and the new part be bad or wrong. Worst part was on the 82 Mark VI, the parts listings show the fox body part instead of the panther part for wheel bearings. I had to take the whole hub assembly in to the store to get the jackass behind the counter to understand that it's a damn panther and not a fox body car and their parts listings are wrong and so are Ford's. So the next time I needed some suspension related parts for that Lincoln, I just asked for 88 model Grand Marquis parts. Fit right and worked.

I've run into that with brake pads. Ask for Grand Marquis or Crown Vic pads in certain years and you get Marquis or LTD which is the Fox car. As for Towncar parts and you get things that fit.

I'd say you were probably getting Mark VII parts, but Mark VIIs use the same bearings as the Panther. The hubs are the same, just with a different offset for the rotor. Same calipers as boxes. The LTD / LTD Crown Vic mixup I get but no idea what they'd have crossed with a Mark VI. Even the Continental that year used the same front brake stuff as the Mark VII.

[Arquemann]

Well, Fat Sally's time with me ended today.
The most uneventful car sale I've had. Guy came when agreed, no stupid questions, no complaining about every little thing, no tire kicking, no lowballing, a quick haggle and a handshake. Paid in full right away, helped me load the winter tires and seemed quite content from start to finish.
Did not strike me as a guy who would do anything to a car themselves, let alone someone who would buy 30 year old miled out hunk of american iron. Godspeed


I guess I'll reflect on this a bit. I really grew to like the Caprice, more than I would've expected. The combination of it being superbly comfortable and effortless in every way an american boat should be and being somewhat practical daily driver material is amazing. It has the land yacht feel, but the interior is more plasticky and modern, where you can just slump into nonchalantly like any other daily shitbox. The interior doesn't feel delicate, I don't feel like I must handle the car carefully. My MGM feels like a classic car, fragile and delicate, to be handled with care and caution. I could just hop in the Caprice, the port injected V8 isn't temperamental or quirky. I turn the key and off I go, enjoying the comfort of a classic land yacht but with the effortlessness of a modern car. Too bad that the B-bodies and Panthers are getting old, they're the last of the land yachts, everything has to be stiff and sporty nowadays.

But I am not sad about selling it, this specific Caprice isn't a great car, not bad by any means, but not in the condition to keep long term keep on making better. The fuel consumption was only half of why I sold it. Nearing 370k KMs and being almost 30 years old and having seen a whole lot of road salt and dirt roads the car is in a constant state of falling apart and it is what started weighing on me more than the LT1's drinking habits. Still it was a very reliable car, powertrain never gave any trouble and the only times I got stranded was due to a fuel line failing and a rad hose clamp breaking. But I was constantly fixing something.

Or maybe I just shouldn't have nice things. And put EFI on the MGM. I definitely wouldn't mind a "tastefully clapped" aero town car... But not now when the money is tight.

[DerekTheGreat]

Well, Fat Sally's time with me ended today.
The most uneventful car sale I've had. Guy came when agreed, no stupid questions, no complaining about every little thing, no tire kicking, no lowballing, a quick haggle and a handshake. Paid in full right away, helped me load the winter tires...

Damn, now that's how transactions should be. How I've handled every vehicle purchase I've made and what I hope for when I sell stuff. I tend to get the dude who wants to trade stories and then talk politics or something equally irrelevant.

If you had to get an "aero" Town Car, my vote is for a '90. The only year available with a 302.